Rodent problems
I'm looking for someone to come and figure out what kind of rodent is in my yard. I'm not looking for your run of the mill prairie dog hunting armed lawn mower man. Nor am I looking for some logo plastered windbreaker dude riding in a white Ford ranger with a hardtop canopy shell and a pump sprayer that walks around your house for 15 minutes and charges you $150 a month for not doing anything, type. I'm looking for a real hunter, an investigator, one who isn't afraid to go down this hole I've got in my yard. My neighbor Steve, he acts tough but he won't go down that hole though he's got all kinds of stories about how tough he is. Like that one he brings up about lifting a car when he was in high school, just because he can scoot a car sideways doesn't mean he actually lifted it up he probably just relieved the weight from the shocks and was dragging the tires across the pavement to make it parallel fit between the fire hydrant and the broken down car in his shop class.
I know what you're thinking "why don't you go down the hole" well I can't because of my diabetes and on account of my thrombosis. The only reason I know the hole is even out there at the edge of my field is because I followed these tracks on my John Deere mower all the way out there and the front tire slipped over the edge of it and almost sucked me and the mower in. Somehow I fell off the mower in the other direction and broke my arm. I was out there a while trying to pull the mower out of the hole. I took a photo of it. Steve won't talk to me anymore cuz I made fun of him for being a sissy and not going down the hole so I need someone else to try to do it. Email me if you're in the area I'm looking for anybody cuz I physically can't do it. If I don't answer my email as soon as you're expecting it's because I'm having trouble with my Gmail not giving me notifications on my phone and sometimes I forget to check to see if I have any new messages because they're not really showing up.